She was here ....... even for a short time

I had the honour of meeting this beautiful baby girl and her family this past month.  Sometimes in life, we go through an experience that changes us or marks us in some way, something that always remains with us and we will never forget.  For me, meeting this baby and her family was one of those experiences.  This beautiful baby was born with a very serious heart defect and was only expected to live a few days.  She lived for 20 days.  I went to the hospital first thing the morning after she was born to try to capture what I could for her family.  This was a first for me, I have never gone to the hospital to take photos of a newborn before, and this was obviously not your average birth situation.  I had some time to prepare for this but when it came down to the day and I was waiting for the phone call, I felt I needed to confide in a friend, I wasn't sure how to deal with my emotions.  I have been through many difficult things in my life and as hard as it is sometimes, I try to believe that things happen for a reason, but then how can I continue to believe that?  It is so hard sometimes, but when I spoke with this baby's momma about a month before she was born, she confided that she too felt that things happen for a reason and this little baby wanted to meet her, even if she would only be in her life for a short time.  No parent should loose a child, not EVER.  It is so hard to not have the answers when things like this happen.  We just want to know WHY?  My friend that I confided in, helped me to see things in a different way.  She told me that this little baby will only ever know LOVE.  She will never know hurt, she will never know pain, she will never know suffering, she will only ever know and feel pure and raw love that we as parents have for our children.  That helped a bit to think about it like that when I was there at the hospital to take her photos.  It was such an experience being in that room with her parents, with her aunts, grandma, family ........ I have NEVER felt so much love in one room before.  

"Though she be but little, she is fierce" - William Shakespeare

She was only expected to live a very short time, but she lived for 20 days.  I couldn't believe it when I got the call that they had actually taken her home from the hospital and that they would be able to bring her to the studio for some more photos!  It was so amazing to have her in the studio.  I am so grateful her family had the time with her that they did.  That they were able to bring her home to be loved for a little while, and LOVED she was.  Even though I did get permission from the baby's momma to do a blog post, I wasn't sure I was going to, but I think I needed to.  I needed to let people know that she was here.  I am grateful that I had this experience, honoured to have met her, and so glad that I met this amazing wonderful family.  I will never forget her or any of them.